check it, ladies

Anna:

Here’s a tumblr set up for bi girls to find bi girls in their area.  You can submit a photo and some things about you.

In other news, I danced for three hours straight last night to a Talking Heads cover band.  Dancing = the best thing ever, right? 

Keep submitting questions and comments, bipartisans!

check it

asker

Anonymous asked: do you think there's any correlation between people who are bi (or gay) and people who would like to be the opposite gender?

Anna:  Maybe.  Or maybe not.  Someone might identify as gay and want to be the opposite gender.  Someone might identify as gay but not want to!  It’s a case-by-case basis.  I sure as hell don’t want to be a guy (no offense, guys).  But I also think women are sexii.  So there you go.

Ethan: I think it might be true that people who have already gone down the road of questioning their sexual orientation might be more likely to go down the road of questioning their sex. And at first I was thinking along the lines of, say, meeting some hot dude but finding out he’s straight, and wishing to be female for that reason, which is something I can relate to; but really, I don’t see why it couldn’t happen with a straight dude meeting a gay gal and wishing he was a woman for the same purpose.

So, I don’t think there’s a lot of correlation for the desire to switch genders, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some correlation for thinking about it, as a hypothetical, since we’re all used to thinking so much about sexuality anyway.

asker

Anonymous asked: how do you know if you're bi? i've been bi curious for over a year now and it's werid. okay so i'm a 16 year old girl and i can be very attracted to women and men as well. i have kissed girls but only slept with guys. idk if i'm really bi or if this is a phase..

Anna:  You could be bi, or it could be a phase!  Either way, it doesn’t matter.  Kiss and sleep with whoever you want now, regardless of gender, and don’t judge yourself!  That’s the worst thing you can do.

And remember, sexuality isn’t split up into gay, bi, straight.  There are all sorts of in-betweens and mixtures.  Maybe you tend a bit more toward men.  Just be who you are, and that’s all you can do.  No use worrying about it!

Ethan: Life would be a lot easier if there would be a website that you could go to like “whatsmyorientation.com” and you would just type in your name and it would load a page saying “Hello, NAME, you are 36% attracted to females, 19% attracted to transgendered individuals, and 45% attracted to males. Have a great life!” Unfortunately, this does not exist.

I’m about to say something that could easily be taken the wrong way, but- I don’t think you ever KNOW that you’re bi, or KNOW that you’re straight, or KNOW that you’re gay. Before I get yelled at, obviously someone who’s been living a lifestyle for eighty years can be pretty damn sure what he or she is. But I mean, it’s not like there’s a definitive test. You can’t solve some equations for it, you can’t tell by running some blood tests. You are what you are, you are what you feel like, and most importantly, you are what you think you are. Nobody will ever say, “Well, it’s certain: you’re bisexual. You now have permission to live life as a bisexual person.” Give yourself the permission to live however you’d like.

asker

Anonymous asked: Do I have to tell my parents I'm bi?

Anna:  There’s this idea going around that you have to come out to everyone all of the time.  But that would be awkward - especially in class.  ”Hi, my name is Anna and I am a creative writing major and I am bisexual, you guys, so there, I’m out of the closet.”  To make it short, no.  If your parents are going to be toxic about it and make your life a living hell, don’t tell them.  You have no obligation to them.  Now, if you want to tell them but are just apprehensive and know they won’t lock you up, then go for it - but it isn’t a requirement of identifying as bi or gay or whatever.  Tell who you want to tell. 

Ethan: Maaan, you don’t have to tell your parents jack shit if you don’t want to. If you want, you can just sit in your room and keep your mouth closed and your hands to yourself and don’t even tell them, like, anything. Like anything at all in the first place. Or you can tell ‘em every day. Multiple times. “Hey Dad! Thanks for the cash. By the way, I’m bi.” “I know, dear.” “Okay. Well I just wanted to tell you that I’m bi.” “…Yes, dear.”

A lot of people think that telling people = being true to yourself, like if people don’t know, then you’re not being who you are. That’s like so bullshit. If your parents would kick you out if they knew, dude, don’t tell them unless you want to get kicked out. Yes, it’s stupid and they’re stupid and life’s stupid, but that’s what it is. My parents don’t know I’m bi, but they’d be fine with it; in all the years I’ve identified with it though, it’s just never came up. Sometimes my dad will be like, “we just want you to be happy with a girl. …or a guy, whatever you like.” and I just nod and smile.

Tell ‘em if you feel like it. But if they don’t know, it doesn’t mean you’re not bisexual. It just means that they don’t know it.

Introductions!

Ethan says:

Hi there! My name is Ethan. I’m an artist and a scientist; I have a Bachelor’s in Film, and I’m going back for an Associate’s in Nanoscience. I’m male and twenty-two years old, and also, I’m awesome. Oh yeah, and I’ve identified as bisexual on some level for eight or nine years now.

I don’t think it was the first non-straight thought I ever had, but the first that I can remember: I found some male video game character attractive. Like, I mean, HOT. I think there were some confused thoughts there. But, after a while, and even though I was only in middle school, I kinda realized that I wasn’t totally straight. I was a smart kid, but socially I was pretty inept, so despite those thoughts I don’t think I ever categorized myself as much of anything.

When I got into college, I started having a much more active sex life. And soon enough, that included experimentation with guys. A couple years later, I moved from small city Wisconsin to the much more open and tolerant art school in Chicago, and… well, you can imagine what went on there.

I consider myself pretty well grounded, and I’m great at teaching and giving advice. So when Anna suggested the idea for this blog to me, I was pretty up for it. Also I came up with the (totally awesome) name. Welcome to Biparty!

Anna says:

Hello all you bipartisans! (that is what we’re calling the readers. I’d like to point out that I came up with that. Ethan.)

Anyway, I’m a 21-one-year-old college student named Anna, studying creative writing and journalism and doing a lot of music on the side. I am also awesome. 

I don’t like labels. But of the 3 options on OkCupid, bisexual is the closest one to me. I grew up in a very Christian family, so I didn’t really admit my attraction to females to myself until I got into college. Though I did always have a thing for Keira Knightley…

Moving away to college expanded my horizons and I got comfortable enough with myself to say, Hey! I am attracted to some women! And would like to make out with them! Also maybe do other things!

I am not qualified to give advice - but who is these days? I listen to a lot of Dan Savage, though. (If you don’t listen to him… DOIT.) 

Anyone can write in! Gay, bi, straight, objectum-sexual, feline, canine - anyone! We’ll tell you what we think!