It’s almost two a.m.
But I’m wide awake!
Bipartisans, do you ever feel restless but can’t put your finger on why?
I want to be doing so much more than sitting here, right now.
Apparently Ethan doesn’t care about our blog
But I do.
Send in questions!!
are you into 3somes?
This is the entirety of the message I received a few days ago. A wink and that sham of a sentence. Can we please try a little harder, people? The way to get me to have a threesome with you is not by WINKING AT ME ON OKCUPID. I know, I know, that’s a newsflash. Hard to wrap your brain around.
In other news, do you ever wish you could eat music? Ever hear a song so beautiful that you want to swallow it and keep it in your belly? What song or artist?
check it, ladies
Here’s a tumblr set up for bi girls to find bi girls in their area. You can submit a photo and some things about you.
In other news, I danced for three hours straight last night to a Talking Heads cover band. Dancing = the best thing ever, right?
Keep submitting questions and comments, bipartisans!
Anonymous asked: do you think there's any correlation between people who are bi (or gay) and people who would like to be the opposite gender?
Anna: Maybe. Or maybe not. Someone might identify as gay and want to be the opposite gender. Someone might identify as gay but not want to! It’s a case-by-case basis. I sure as hell don’t want to be a guy (no offense, guys). But I also think women are sexii. So there you go.
Ethan: I think it might be true that people who have already gone down the road of questioning their sexual orientation might be more likely to go down the road of questioning their sex. And at first I was thinking along the lines of, say, meeting some hot dude but finding out he’s straight, and wishing to be female for that reason, which is something I can relate to; but really, I don’t see why it couldn’t happen with a straight dude meeting a gay gal and wishing he was a woman for the same purpose.
So, I don’t think there’s a lot of correlation for the desire to switch genders, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some correlation for thinking about it, as a hypothetical, since we’re all used to thinking so much about sexuality anyway.
Anonymous asked: how do you know if you're bi? i've been bi curious for over a year now and it's werid. okay so i'm a 16 year old girl and i can be very attracted to women and men as well. i have kissed girls but only slept with guys. idk if i'm really bi or if this is a phase..
Anna: You could be bi, or it could be a phase! Either way, it doesn’t matter. Kiss and sleep with whoever you want now, regardless of gender, and don’t judge yourself! That’s the worst thing you can do.
And remember, sexuality isn’t split up into gay, bi, straight. There are all sorts of in-betweens and mixtures. Maybe you tend a bit more toward men. Just be who you are, and that’s all you can do. No use worrying about it!
Ethan: Life would be a lot easier if there would be a website that you could go to like “whatsmyorientation.com” and you would just type in your name and it would load a page saying “Hello, NAME, you are 36% attracted to females, 19% attracted to transgendered individuals, and 45% attracted to males. Have a great life!” Unfortunately, this does not exist.
I’m about to say something that could easily be taken the wrong way, but- I don’t think you ever KNOW that you’re bi, or KNOW that you’re straight, or KNOW that you’re gay. Before I get yelled at, obviously someone who’s been living a lifestyle for eighty years can be pretty damn sure what he or she is. But I mean, it’s not like there’s a definitive test. You can’t solve some equations for it, you can’t tell by running some blood tests. You are what you are, you are what you feel like, and most importantly, you are what you think you are. Nobody will ever say, “Well, it’s certain: you’re bisexual. You now have permission to live life as a bisexual person.” Give yourself the permission to live however you’d like.
OkCupid + bisexuality
First, news: Match.com bought out OkCupid for $50 million and promptly took down their blog post about why you should never pay for online dating. Go figure.
Second: OkCupid. I’m on it. Ethan is too. Or was - maybe he disabled his page, I don’t know. And there’s this phenomenon going on (at least for me there is).
It’s called the couples-see-that-I-am-bi-and-ask-me-for-threesomes phenomenon.
Now, I am not opposed to threesomes. Ahem. But I get a high number of messages that turn out to be couples that want me to ‘get to know them.’ They’re often very enthusiastic. They send me pictures of both of them, sometimes tell me what they want to do to me, and are just eager. Very eager.
Because they’re looking for that magical species. The unicorn, if we will (I think I’m borrowing some Dan Savage language here). That special bisexual female who will come into their lives, disease-free, have a threesomes or two with them, and then disappear.
There’s nothing wrong with this! But I am using the term unicorn for a REASON.
If nothing else though, the messages are funny. As in this one which I got from a heavily mustachioed fellow:
Hey, I figure you’ll probably be pretty skeptical when I tell you about ANON and myself. We’re a happy, mostly-monogamous couple with a 25+ year age difference. ANON is 23 and slim, and I am 52 and carry a few extra pounds.
No thanks! I do not have sex with men older than my father. Also I don’t like mustaches.
Anonymous asked: Do I have to tell my parents I'm bi?
Anna: There’s this idea going around that you have to come out to everyone all of the time. But that would be awkward - especially in class. ”Hi, my name is Anna and I am a creative writing major and I am bisexual, you guys, so there, I’m out of the closet.” To make it short, no. If your parents are going to be toxic about it and make your life a living hell, don’t tell them. You have no obligation to them. Now, if you want to tell them but are just apprehensive and know they won’t lock you up, then go for it - but it isn’t a requirement of identifying as bi or gay or whatever. Tell who you want to tell.
Ethan: Maaan, you don’t have to tell your parents jack shit if you don’t want to. If you want, you can just sit in your room and keep your mouth closed and your hands to yourself and don’t even tell them, like, anything. Like anything at all in the first place. Or you can tell ‘em every day. Multiple times. “Hey Dad! Thanks for the cash. By the way, I’m bi.” “I know, dear.” “Okay. Well I just wanted to tell you that I’m bi.” “…Yes, dear.”
A lot of people think that telling people = being true to yourself, like if people don’t know, then you’re not being who you are. That’s like so bullshit. If your parents would kick you out if they knew, dude, don’t tell them unless you want to get kicked out. Yes, it’s stupid and they’re stupid and life’s stupid, but that’s what it is. My parents don’t know I’m bi, but they’d be fine with it; in all the years I’ve identified with it though, it’s just never came up. Sometimes my dad will be like, “we just want you to be happy with a girl. …or a guy, whatever you like.” and I just nod and smile.
Tell ‘em if you feel like it. But if they don’t know, it doesn’t mean you’re not bisexual. It just means that they don’t know it.
Hi there! My name is Ethan. I’m an artist and a scientist; I have a Bachelor’s in Film, and I’m going back for an Associate’s in Nanoscience. I’m male and twenty-two years old, and also, I’m awesome. Oh yeah, and I’ve identified as bisexual on some level for eight or nine years now.
I don’t think it was the first non-straight thought I ever had, but the first that I can remember: I found some male video game character attractive. Like, I mean, HOT. I think there were some confused thoughts there. But, after a while, and even though I was only in middle school, I kinda realized that I wasn’t totally straight. I was a smart kid, but socially I was pretty inept, so despite those thoughts I don’t think I ever categorized myself as much of anything.
When I got into college, I started having a much more active sex life. And soon enough, that included experimentation with guys. A couple years later, I moved from small city Wisconsin to the much more open and tolerant art school in Chicago, and… well, you can imagine what went on there.
I consider myself pretty well grounded, and I’m great at teaching and giving advice. So when Anna suggested the idea for this blog to me, I was pretty up for it. Also I came up with the (totally awesome) name. Welcome to Biparty!
Hello all you bipartisans! (that is what we’re calling the readers. I’d like to point out that I came up with that. Ethan.)
Anyway, I’m a 21-one-year-old college student named Anna, studying creative writing and journalism and doing a lot of music on the side. I am also awesome.
I don’t like labels. But of the 3 options on OkCupid, bisexual is the closest one to me. I grew up in a very Christian family, so I didn’t really admit my attraction to females to myself until I got into college. Though I did always have a thing for Keira Knightley…
Moving away to college expanded my horizons and I got comfortable enough with myself to say, Hey! I am attracted to some women! And would like to make out with them! Also maybe do other things!
I am not qualified to give advice - but who is these days? I listen to a lot of Dan Savage, though. (If you don’t listen to him… DOIT.)
Anyone can write in! Gay, bi, straight, objectum-sexual, feline, canine - anyone! We’ll tell you what we think!